Regression.

The irony of this phrase (given the number of ordinary least squares regression models I've run in the past few days) is palpable.

There was an era of my life when, when my life felt like too much for me to handle, I would retreat into a small dark space--under the bed, in the closet, in the bathtub with the lights off, etc.--and curl up, hidden away from all the bad things in as little space as possible, where I felt like I could control things. It was an illogical and often impractical coping mechanism, but it worked for me. I regained control of my life in lots of small dark spaces.

I'm contemplating sinking underneath this cluster desk right now and seeing if it still works.

It's weird how our feelings manifest themselves physically

I'm pretty sure I'm actually incapable of releasing the tension in my upper back right now. I don't remember feeling pressure like this since college application/waiting for decision time. I have goals to meet every day and everything still seems like it'll be finished by my personal deadline of it being in the binder's hands by 6 pm on Thursday, but I feel like it's gon get worse before it gets better. I keep reminding myself to take deep breaths. I want to go meditate, but I don't know that I can spare the time. Every time I can convince myself that everything is going to be okay--which I know it is, actually. I've got this.--my body just responds that it's preparing itself for the worst. I don't remember pulling stress over my head this morning along with my shirt, and yet, there it sits. And I feel like feeling the stress like that is just stressing me out more, because without it I'm not sure I'd be so aware that everything I've been working for over the past four years basically comes down to the next 85 and a half hours. *gulp*

Also, occasionally when I'm not even thinking about him, a certain area begins to throb and I am reminded of what I hope to reward myself with when all of this is over. ^_^

 

My friend J and I learned last night

that little things can make you inordinately angry when you're drunk and stressed out. And as we're graduating seniors who have theses to write and midterms to take and highly competitive jobs to apply for, stress is a given. Drunk is also a given. Thus, being quite rude or even yelling at our friends and loved ones and/or having full-blown emotional meltdowns may happen more often as the time between now and the beginning of April dwindles. Now that we have realized this correlation, we will try to be more cognizant and avoid potential molehills-that-could-easily-become-mountains-in-drunken-stessed-out-perspective, but for the next time or four we fail, consider this our apology in advance. We only hope the same thing will happen to the rest of our friends, so we can be even.

I'm sure we all feel this way sometimes:

Reblogged from PostSecret