Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

"Each time a choose someone else’s happiness over mine, each time I allow someone to speak to me disrespectfully or talk down to me, each time I say ‘yes’ when I mean ‘no’, each time I say ‘no’ when I mean ‘yes’, a piece my inner-self dies inside."
--Katie, of Katie Blogs

Sunday, March 4, 2012

When you design your own vision for how you want your life to be, you’re able to tap into desires that you may not have been able to see or feel before. You’re also better able to release your attachment to other people’s approval by taking responsibility for your own goals.
--Rosetta, of  Happy Black Woman

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Best birthday week ever:

So I turned 22 at the end of January, on Sunday the 29th. We started celebrating on Saturday, though, because some friends were going out of town on a ski trip, which means my week of birthday celebrations is coming to a close. 

It has, without a doubt, been the absolute best birthday week of my short life. 

Saturday the 28th, I got a text message from JA telling me not to make dinner plans. She and JC came to meet KS and I at the library where we'd been working and asked me where I wanted to dinner. I wanted to trek to a good Chinese place that was a little ways away and pick up a bottle of wine on the way, so after we met up with MM, that's exactly what we did. When we stopped at the liquor store on the way to the Chinese food place--it's BYOB--MM bought me a bottle of Ciroc as a birthday gift, and I picked up a good Moscato to have with dinner. MJP met us there. Dinner was great and we had ridiculous conversation as I always have with my good friends (even if there was an awkward moment when I blurted out that my mom has cancer...there's never a good time to tell people that, but that was probably one of the worst times). They treated me to my meal, and I was glad that that whole group could get together again to celebrate me. 

Sunday the 29th was my actual birthday. My mom and my Nana drove up to campus to bring me one of Nana's famous homemade Great-Aunt-Mabel's-secret-family-recipe birthday cakes and homemade pecan brittle, along with a giant bag of pecans straight from Georgia. They stayed and chatted for about an hour, then made excuses when I asked them to have lunch with me and headed home. I laid around for a little while in my bed doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING til that got boring and I headed to the house, where I read blogs and chilled for a few hours while my friend CB put together a dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant for me. A bunch of my Quad friends got together and took me to dinner, where ChoosingPancakes told the waitress it was my birthday and they brought me tiramisu with a candle in it. It was cute, and no one has ever really done that for me before--once we let it slip that it was my birthday when I was at home with my family and SH, but that we had cakes waiting at home, and the waiter brought me a tiny container of whipped cream with a candle in it, which was cute, but no one had ever intentionally notified the wait-staff that it was my birthday in order to surprise me with a birthday treat before. After dinner, we went back to the house and played Apples to Apples, which I am evidently terrible at because I didn't get any cards, haha. Then some of my other (pre-Quad friends) started to show up. We had, of course, turned Apples to Apples into a drinking game, and when more people started to show up, we devolved into just drinking. Then BC wanted to go sleep, so we had cake before he left and more people started to show up, and RC surprised me with a bottle of Disaronno, an incredibly delicious Italian amaretto, while MH and KG gave me a collection of hair products that hadn't worked for them but might for me. We were all sitting on the floor, talking and drinking, when ChoosingPancakes did the absolute cutest thing anyone has ever done for me on my birthday: she made everyone in the room share their favorite memory of me. Some of my friends were silly, but some of them (her included) were incredibly poignant, and I started to tear up a little. (Had I been sober, I would probably have started crying. +1 for alcohol's ability to dull my senses.) A bunch of people were doing a thesis boot camp in the morning, so shortly after said sharing and caring, half of my party contingent left, and the rest of us moved downstairs for some beirut. I played two games of three-on-three, and won both games. It was all in all a fabulous night, slightly tainted only by the fact that someone who shall not be named tried to go home with me (I blogged about that already). 

Monday passed fairly uneventfully, if I recall. On Tuesday, I got an email from the Package Room saying I had a package to pick up, and I knew I hadn't purchased anything recently, so I was intrigued as to what it might be. I went to pick it up, and it was the entire line of Twisted Sista products, that I had won on a Brown Girl Gumbo giveaway! What a great birthday present! 

On Wednesday, I got another mysterious email from the Package Room. I still hadn't bought anything, so I excitedly went to the Student Center, wondering what this might be. Surprise, surprise--it was a present from my friend RG! He sent me three good CDs (Erykah Badu, Rafael Saadiq, and Marvin Gaye) and a picture of us from my birthday party last year. I had been surprised by RC's gift, but this garnered genuine shock. I'm a simple girl; making me feel recognized is like, the highest honor anyone can bestow on me. Call me cheesy, but I was touched. It was like, the icing on this huge multi-tiered cake of love and appreciation my friends gave me this week—I can’t remember the last time I felt so deeply cared about. 

On Thursday, TN came down from Rutgers to take me out to dinner, since she couldn’t make it down over the weekend. We went to Alchemist and Barrister, another restaurant in town that I’d never been to, and I had hot apple cider with butterscotch schnapps (omg) and a delicious chicken pot pie. I caught up on her life and she caught up on mine and it was weird how much we didn’t know about what was going on with each other. She’s another example of how I need to do better at maintaining my friendships. (Side note, I feel like she’s hardcore judging me for no-longer-recent exploits, but whatever.) When we got back to her car, she gave me my second present (besides dinner): an awesome framed piece of art with a bird outside of a birdcage, and it’s drawn or painted on a page from a dictionary. I’m not doing it justice—maybe I’ll upload a picture when I get back to campus—but it’s SO ME. So I guess she’s an example of how even when my deep friendships change on the surface, the degree to which my friends know or understand me doesn’t change even as we grow and develop and mature.

By Friday, I was like, okay, this week has to slow down. It has just been too awesome. I was wrong. So, so very wrong. There I was, chilling at work, pretending to write my thesis, when I get a phone call. It’s from a number I don’t know, and I was contemplating whether or not to pick it up when some part of my brain was like, wait, isn’t 202 the area code for D.C.? *picks up the phone immediately* It was the woman from Human Resources at Mathematica, calling to tell me that the interview team thought that I’d be a really great fit, and she’d like to offer me the position!

I wish I had a video of me jumping up and down in the basement lobby of Fine Hall.

Like, WHAT?! This much awesomeness can happen to me in one week? I’ve been told it’s important not to seem to eager, so I thanked her profusely and agreed to get back to her by the end of the following week about whether I’d like to accept. I then called my momma and my daddy and texted some important people and tweeted and Facebooked and couldn’t wait to get out of work and celebrate…

…which actually basically waited until the next night, when KS, JB, and I drove up to New Brunswick to go to Delta’s, this soul food place I discovered but failed to actually eat at over the summer, and which we’ve been telling ourselves we’ll explore for months. When we made our reservations—because they close to people without reservations on the weekends, as KS, TN, and I learned once in the Fall—they asked us if we were aware of their dress code: “casual chic,” meaning no baggy jeans, no workboots, etc. Toto, I don’t think we’re in the dining hall anymore, lol. I wore a dress from Shabby Apple that I’d won on a Naturally Beautiful Hair giveaway towards the end of last year and hadn’t found an occasion for yet, while KS wore a nice button up shirt and khakis and dress shoes, and I do say we looked pretty shnazzy (though he did still get carded, while our waitress like, turned down seeing JB’s and my IDs, bahaha).  We started off with fried calamari and seafood gumbo as appetizers, with a pitcher of peach sangria to share between the three of us. The breading on the calamari was DIVINE, and my gumbo was spicy but rich enough that it just went down smoothly and deliciously. Then after lamenting about how we actually wanted to eat everything. on. the. menu., we finally settled on the following: for me, smothered pork chops with sides of mac and cheese and candied yams; for KS, ox tail with sides of black eyed peas and rice and collard greens; and for JB, a fried seafood medley including shrimp and catfish, with hush puppies and yams. Our plates were so full, and sweet Jesus the food was indescribably amazing. There was live jazz/R&B happening behind us and I wanted to die of satisfaction with every bite…I truly don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed an eating experience as much as I enjoyed Delta’s. We made the decision right then and there that the three of us are eating there at reunions indefinitely into the future, and that KS and I might bring our families there for graduation dinner. 





…What is my life?
     

Friday, February 3, 2012

"After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me. But love doesn’t bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it’s a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it’s sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we’re doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony."

--Paulo Coelho (The Witch of Portobello)

Reblogged from Indie Art Nerd

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

So uhhh...I don't usually do this...but...

so many things have gone RIGHT in my life today that I feel the need to share my awesome mood with the world at large.
  1. I remembered to close my blind before I went to sleep last night so the sun didn't wake me up before 8 like has happened every day for the last week or so. And when I woke up at the wonderful time of 9:30ish, guess who WASN'T on my mind? Instead, on my mind was the fact that I had a one-o-clock meeting with my independent study professor and wanted to be prepared. That's right, I was my top priority again.
  2. I sat down at my desk to think about what I was going to say at said meeting, and began flipping back through my notes to realize I'd made some pretty interesting notes and picked up on some pretty fascinating things and actually had questions I wanted to ask and things I wanted to brainstorm about! It was like I'd secretly done work without realizing! And then I went to my meeting and the professor I'm working with ATE IT UP. She was all, wowwww, yessss! interesting! and loves the direction I'm going in and thinks I come up with the right kinds of questions and just generally seemed impressed. And here I was thinking I was going to have to be all apologetic and shameful for being behind! Our meeting went phenomenally and left me feeling really empowered about my independent work.
  3. After my meeting I went to CVS. I really just needed conditioner, and some plastic cups for a party I'm throwing for E's birthday on Friday. But, because I am a good shopper, no matter how little I plan to spend, I always scan my extracare card on the machine thing to see what coupons it will spit at me. And I hit the COUPON JACKPOT today! $3 extrabucks, $3 off a purchase of $15 or more, $2 off any Pantene product, $4 off any Revlon mascara, and some others that were less relevant to my life. But I needed conditioner anyway and I could always use more mascara and then I decided that I would treat myself to a fancy Pantene de-frizzing stuff called "Smoothing Balm" because it was on sale and I had a coupon, bought my normal Tresemme conditioner, and discovered that Honey Nut Cheerios (my second-favorite cereal) were on sale 3 full-size boxes for $10 so got three of them too! Grand total? $20.64. SO. MUCH. WINNING.
  4. Then! I decided to take myself to Panera for lunch because I'd just saved so much money (and I got paid today anyway), and on the way from CVS to Panera I ran into my friend KG! (K pointed out to me a while ago that there are too many people in my life whose first name begins with K, so now I'm calling all the others by two initials.) I hadn't seen her in about a month and a half, and it turns out she was on her way to Panera too! So we had lunch together and caught up and people-watched and read, then we made our way to the student center for
  5. FREE ICE CREAM! Which was delicious. And free. And we met some friends of a girl I work at the library with, and one of them complimented me on my headband, again making me feel like my quest for awesome hair styles and accessories is going wonderfully. (Yesterday I got complimented on both my hair and my flower by a transitioning high school girl at the student center.)
  6. One of my best friends from middle school is coming to visit next weekend! We had an impromptu Facebook-chat conversation today which led to realizing that we weren't that far away from each other this summer and our trio was all free next weekend = REUNION. New Brunswick isn't ready.
Why can't every day be awesome like this? Life is so good. 

    Tuesday, December 14, 2010

    I went to New York to see a show last fall

    and had to purchase a MetroCard to get around, obviously. This was the card I got:

     I still have this card. It sits in my wallet with my Visa Check card and my photo IDs and my CVS card and my U-Store Membership card and my insurance card and when I find it in the midst of looking for one of those zillion cards, I pause for a split second and I have to smile. It says in tiny letters that it's part of an Arts for Transit project, and mentions the artist's name. I think this card is fantastic. I hope that the small moment of joy it continually brings me is what the artist--and New York City as a governmental figure?--wanted me to feel, and I want to do all in my power to ensure that I have this card until I am old and grey.

    My friend K who I talk about, he told me today that optimism is his new plan for the next few months forever. It made me so happy, because I am always so worried about him putting too much pressure on himself and forgetting to have fun and remember that no matter what happens, the big picture is BIGGER than this and in it, he's a wonderful individual. But it also got me thinking...

    People constantly tell me that I'm a bright, bubbly, cheerful person. This afternoon a friend told me she can never imagine anyone saying I'm a mean person. Part of me (the you're-your-own-worst-critic part) gives them a look like, Whatchu talkin bout, Willis?! but the bigger part of me recognizes the truth in what they're saying. I think about how I talk to K, or to F or to T, I think about the feelings I try to leave in my wake wherever I go in daily life, the impression I try to impart on my friends and acquaintances, the beauty and growth I try to see in the trials of life, and the care and warmth I try to give to everyone who matters to me in some small degree and realize that I am a bright, bubbly, and cheerful person the vast majority of the time...to most people, but not always to myself.


    It's time for that to go. It's not necessary that I don't want to worry about shit, but just that I want to be confident in my abilities and assured in the fact that I can handle my life, and stop stressing over shit that doesn't matter. There's just no damn sense in being your own worst enemy, under any circumstances. Optimism. Live life limitlessly. 



    Friday, December 3, 2010

    This message has been sponsored by xkcd (jk)

    ...I actually just kind of stole it. Words from the wise:

    You shouldn't ever feel like shit for feeling like shit.

    also

    Alcohol is poison. I drink to save you from it.