"Our culture teaches us about shame--it dictates what is acceptable and what is not. We weren't born craving perfect bodies. We weren't born afraid to tell our stories. We weren't born with a fear of getting too old to feel valuable. We weren't born with a Pottery Barn catalog in one hand and heartbreaking debt in the other. Shame comes from outside of us--from the messages and expectations of our culture. What comes from inside of us is a very human need to belong, to relate."

--Brene Brown

I Thought It was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame

(via In Community and Resistance)

I have no shame.

By which I mean, I adamantly refuse to feel ashamed of desires or actions that sit well with me just because they may not jive with what other people think is right for them. And since becoming a blogger I've gotten used to just putting all my business out there (while trying to maintain some level of privacy for the people in my life whose business could be spread in the spreading of my own business), and my sexual business is far from excluded on this list. 2011 was the year I finally threw that door wide open and took care of business, if you know what I mean, and I am so much happier for it. I am not ashamed to say that coming into my nature as a sexual being has enhanced my overall identity and partially reshaped my relationship to myself as an entity. I feel free from frustration and restriction I hadn't really even been acknowledging.

But still, sometimes people judge me and I have this fleeting moment where I wonder if I should be judging myself.

And that's why this passage from a  Clutch Magazine article by Arielle Loran resonated with me SO HARD:

"Shame is your enemy, and silence will stifle your growth. There’s no reason to feel guilty about natural desires, and if you haven’t already, this is the year to throw shame out of your life. Refuse to ignore your curiosities, urges, and intuition. Talk to your lovers, friends, and family about sex, sensuality, and sexuality. Use these relationships as a classroom for your growth. The more you open up, the more people will respond with wisdom, guidance, and affirmation. You need community to grow. You cannot become your best sexual and sensual self without the support of others."