It's that time of the summer again...

Eeyore mood.

That time when I realize that I spend way more time alone than I'm comfortable with. If my co-worker handles the one person who wanders into the library during our four-hour shift, I don't have to say a word to anyone besides my mom when I call her to say I got home okay and possibly ask for directions on how to cook something. Splitting my awake-time fairly evenly between Princeton and New Brunswick means I don't really have the time to hang out with anyone in either location on a regular basis. Remind me to never work nights again--it's terrible for one's social life. Part of me feels like I should "meet people"...then I begin to wonder how one successfully does that if one doesn't have a seed group to start from. And (rather ironically since I'm a sociologist) social interactions with new people really really intimidate me. But my big empty house in this small anonymous city is starting to feel really lonely. I think this is what I'm most worried about after graduation: the sudden disappearance of a social circle to fall back on. I'm a small intimate circles kind of person; I'm the kind of person that can easily happily devote all of her spare time to one person or a very small group of people. My ideal party has ten friends, a few bottles of alcohol, and some board games rather than a bar/club scene or anything involving a keg. So what do I do in a new place? I miss having people around to just hang out with. I guess that as a person who has shared a bedroom for the majority of her life, then lived in quads Freshman and Sophomore year, and then began spending her every waking moment at Quad Junior year, solitude is something I am neither used to or comfortable with for extended periods of time. 
In somewhat related news, I am craving physical contact sooooo strongly. Y'all know that I'm a very touchy-feely person: in the course of my normal (read: on campus [or previously, in high school]) life, my day is full of small touches in the midst of conversations, hugs and/or arms around shoulders, resting my head on others' shoulders, massages, people playing with my hair, etc. Now, I go days without hugging anyone. I'm the only person who plays with my hair on anything close to a regular basis. I may never get re-used to sleeping alone, but more on that in tomorrow's letter (which will be to my bed(s)). There are certain kinds of intimacy I miss that I can take care of on my own, but Aijuswannasnuggle.

2nd 30 Day Letter Challenge--Day 16: Letter to the Last Person who Complimented You

Dear Greeter Lady at the Zimmerli Art Museum,

Way back in a time that seems like eons ago but was really probably less than a month and a half ago, while I was at home trying to come up with summer goals because my then-boyfriend had asked me about mine, I made note of the fact that your museum was free on the first Sunday of the month. I evidently even had the foresight to make an event on my Google Calendar for the hours the museum is open on the first Sunday of July and of August. And thus, today when I was recovering from a relapse in okay-status, I decided to put on a push-up bra and a low-cut dress and do my makeup and my hair and take myself on a date to visit the museum. I hadn't yet embraced doing things by myself in New Brunswick like I did in Chicago last year, and as I have to get used to being on my own again generally, now seemed like high time.
I walked the 8 minutes from my house to the museum and came inside. I knew today was a free day, but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to just stroll on in, and you weren't at the desk when I got there. But I was only confused for a moment or two, because then you walked out of the little back room, cheery as ever, and welcomed me to the museum. You told me I looked "so pretty" and asked me to please check my [make-rainy-days-fun! sunflower] umbrella because they weren't allowed in the galleries. Then you put a sticker on my hand and said today was a free day, and told me to enjoy. I realize you're a customer service employee and it is actually your job to be nice to me [been there, done that], but I want you to know you made me smile today. I wanted to treat myself to something and take care of myself, and you noticed, and that just...felt nice. 

So thank you for your sunny disposition on a grey and drizzly day. You made my mood less grey and drizzly.


Maya

I thought I looked cute too. :)

Moms are so adorably over-protective.

So I moved into my new house in New Brunswick today, and my mom is like, FREAKING OUT. She made sure all the downstairs windows were locked and checked the locks on both doors and tested my doorbell and turned the porch light on when she left at 6pm. She's not comfortable with me living by myself at all. She thinks the grocery stores in my neighborhood are too sketchy for me to shop at by myself, and in my head I'm thinking, if you could have SEEN the places I worked at in Chicago. But alas, it's probably good for both of us that she hasn't.

Anyway, as we were hanging up the phone tonight: "Sleep well, Mom." "I'll tryyyyyyy." *rolls eyes* "Mom, I'll be fineeeee." "What time do you think you'll get up in the morning?" "Why, do you want me to call you as soon as I open my eyes so you know I survived the night?" "YES!"

Moms. You gotta love 'em.