I wish I could find this and hang it in my office...

Reblogged from come correct

Advice for the real world Part One

Reblogged from Treasured Tresses

Reblogged from Sister Outsider:

"10 rules for brilliant women people
1. Make a pact. No one else is going to build the life you want for you. No one else will even be able to completely understand it. The most amazing souls will show up to cheer you on along the way, but this is your game. Make a pact to be in it with yourself for the long haul, as your own supportive friend at every step along the way.

2. Imagine it. What does a knock-the-ball-out-of-the-park life look like for you? What is the career that seems so incredible you think it’s almost criminal to have it? What is the dream you don’t allow yourself to even consider because it seems too unrealistic, frivolous, or insane? Start envisioning it. That’s the beginning of having it.

3. Gasp. Start doing things that make you gasp and get the adrenalin flowing. Ask yourself, “What’s the gasp-level action here?” Your fears and a tough inner critic will chatter in your head. That’s normal, and just fine. When you hear that repetitive, irrational, mean inner critic, name it for what it is, and remember, it’s just a fearful liar, trying to protect you from any real or seeming risks. Go for the gasps and learn how false your inner critic’s narrative really is, and how conquerable your fears.

4. Get a thick skin. If you take risks, sometimes you’ll get a standing ovation, and sometimes, people will throw tomatoes. Can you think of any leader or innovator whom you admire who doesn’t have enthusiastic fans and harsh critics? Get used to wins and losses, praise and pans, getting a call back and being ignored. Work on letting go of needing to be liked and needing to be universally known as “a nice person.”

5. Be an arrogant idiot. Of course I know you won’t, because you never could. But please, just be a little more of an arrogant idiot. You know those guys around the office who share their opinions without thinking, who rally everyone around their big, (often unformed) ideas? Be more like them. Even if just a bit. You can afford to move a few inches in that direction.

6. Question the voice that says “I’m not ready yet.” I know, I know. Because you are so brilliant and have such high standards, you see every way that you could be more qualified. You notice every part of your idea that is not perfected yet. While you are waiting to be ready, gathering more experience, sitting on your ideas, our friends referenced in rule five are being anointed industry visionaries, getting raises, and seeing their ideas come to life in the world. They are no more ready than you, and perhaps less. Jump in the sandbox now, and start playing full out. Find out just how ready you are.

7. Don’t wait for your Oscar. Don’t wait to be praised, anointed, or validated. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to lead. Don’t wait for someone to invite you to share your voice. No one is going to discover you. (Well, actually, they will, but paradoxically, only after you’ve started boldly and consistently stepping into leadership, sharing your voice, and doing things that scare the hell out of you.)

8. Filter advice. Most brilliant women people are humble and open to guidance. We want to gather feedback and advice. Fine, but recognize that some people won’t understand what you are up to (often because you are saying something new and ahead of your time). Some people will find you to be not their cup of tea. Some will feel threatened. Some people will want to do with your idea only what is interesting or helpful to them. So interpret feedback carefully. Test advice and evaluate the results, rather than following it wholesale.

9. Recover and restore. If you start doing the things that make you gasp, doing what you don’t quite feel ready to do, and being more of an arrogant idiot, you are going to be stretching out of our comfort zone–a lot. Regularly do things that feel safe, cozy, and restorative. Vent to friends when you need to. Acknowledge the steps you’ve taken. Watch your tank to see how much risk-taking juice you have available to you. When it’s running low, stop, recover and restore.

10. Let other women people know they are brilliant. Let them know what kind of brilliance you see, and why it’s so special. Call them into greater leadership and action. Let them know that they are ready. Watch out for that subtle, probably unconscious thought, “because I had to struggle and suffer on my way up…they should have to too.” Watch out for thinking this will “take” too much time – when the truth is it always has huge, often unexpected returns."

 Original source, though I'm not sure she'd approve of me making it gender non-specific. TOO DAMN BAD. 

Some things don't change

Like the fact that this is good advice:

 I wasn't being calm about love for entirely different reasons when I ordered this about two and a a half weeks ago. [insert sordid details of what went down here] When it came in the mail last week, part of me wanted to chuck it right into the recycling bin at the student center and keep it moving. But something stopped me, and ever since then it's been sitting on the far corner of the desk in my room taunting me to figure out why I kept it [besides the fact that I spent $8 on it]. And today it kind of hit me: when I bought this, I saw it as a way to remind myself that I was going to get through Situation A and everything was going to be okay. There's no reason the same reminder can't be applied to the current Situation B or future Situations C-Z and beyond. Since I live according to the inalienable rights of love, liberty, and the pursuits of happiness and nappyness, this is solid life advice. A brave little footsoldier, my heart can never go into hiding. I care too much about everything, okay...but that's me and I don't really want to change it, even if it hurts. It's my philosophy that transience is no reason not to enjoy something--to the contrary, it's more of a reason to give yourself entirely to things, because you may not always have the luxury. So I will keep using the l-word liberally, with an understanding of its many varied levels, and continue to live with my heart wide open. Above everything else, everything that happened here showed me how dangerous it is to not actually be open about my feelings in real-time. So cheers to love and carrying on with it.