Dear *******,
You have the honor of being the first person I've written to twice. :]
So "pestering my mind", huh? What an unusual way to phrase what that's referring to. It kind of reminds me of you, haha. You're always saying things in ways that are unusual and thus strikingly beautiful. The poet in me wants to just hang on to every word you say. (Lucky for it, I already kind of do.)
You're actually pestering me much less recently. I think I've really begun to be able to control it. If I want to think about you then I can go off on crazy la-la color-me-happy heart-dreaming sappy tangents, but I can pretty effectively shut you out too. Which I only want to do now because you being so far away and not-easily-communicated with makes me just live in memories and not focus on the present. And hey my life is pretty good right now so I'd like to be able to successfully live it...sorry that that means putting you on pause for a little while though.
But when I do let the tangents happen, these are the kind of thoughts that pester me. I am wiling to take this risk for you, and that's saying a lot because I would usually rather just ponder from afar and keep my poor little heart out of harm's way. The way you think intrigues me. I want to know more about where you're from and what it's like there. I just want to know more about you. I want to have more nights like the first half of that night, when we just have a bit to drink and sit and talk about our lives and our thoughts and our dreams. I wanna have more nights like the second half of that night too. ;] Nobody's ever held me the way you hold me before, and I want more of it. You make me feel beautiful. I hope I make you feel some kind of way too. Sometimes I hear freaking love songs and think about you, and part of me wants to gag but part of me just wants to sing. Besides this disappearing off the face of the earth thing, you do almost everything right. That scares me, but in a good way.
etc. etc. etc.
Way back when I thought I kind of liked you for the very first time last year, a friend of mine warned me that you take these kinds of things really slow. I know now that that was basically the understatement of the century. We're opposites in a lot of ways, and one of them is that I'm not a patient person under any circumstances (it's something I'm working on), and thus this ambling drunk depressed turtle rate at which this has been moving for the past year is KILLING me. I think you realize by now that I will be receptive to whatever moves you make, and I'm hoping this will cause you to be less tentative in the future. But I've got a back up plan: I will put the moves on you by week 2, that's a promise!
I miss you and I hope you're having an amazing time at home,
Maya
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