Let me show you just how many damns I give.

Dear Nivea,

The recent Summer's Eve ads made me uncomfortable, because they were [one of] the most stereotypical thing[s] I'd seen in advertising in a long time. They tried to cop-out and call blatant racial profiling "appealing to wider audiences" or some bullshit, but the internet saw through that in a heartbeat. I thought that was going to be our big advertising what-the-fuck-were-they-thinking scandal of 2011, but you have snatched that infamous prize right out of their pigeon-holing fingers.

 

Because my choice not to try my hardest to look like you means I don't give a damn? [If you mean about your standards of beauty, you damn straight, but I'm pretty sure you're not that righteous.] Because my choice not to try my hardest to look like you means I don't "look good" (fine print)? Because a black man is an ANIMAL if he has an afro and a beard? Because that which does not mimic White culture is to be demonized? I have heard my hair texture be deemed unprofessional. I have heard it be called ugly, heard the word "nappy" spat as an insult. I have heard this from Black people as well as people of other races--even Patti Labelle went off about how a little biracial girl's hair needed "taming" just the other day.  When I went natural I even had a not-so-close [Asian] friend ask me incredulously, "You did that on purpose?!" (He has since fallen to the level of acquaintance.) But never, and I mean NEVER, has someone implied that wearing my hair the way it grows out of head puts me on equal footing with a BARBARIAN. Never has anyone told me I don't belong in civil society because of what is on my head. [Well, my mom once told me I wasn't fit to be seen in public with her, but that is neither here nor there.]

Before I get into the HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, there is someone I would like you to meet. He is a man I am honored to know and be recognized by, as he never fails to call me "Sister Reid" when I see him in public. Very probably the most widely-recognized blackademic in the world, he has authored 21 published books, appeared on countless television news series, had a cameo in The Matrix, and even released a few spoken word/hip-hop CDs. He graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University at age 20, went on to get a PhD from [my very own] Princeton University, and has received over 20 honorary degrees from other institutions. I have never seen him in anything but a 3-piece suit. I remember MS Word filling my notes from his class with squiggly red underlines because the concepts upon which he elaborates need heavier terms than most people can handle. Briefly, this man epitomizes the concept of civility.

That's right, THIS AFRO-WEARING BEARDED MAN.

It's ridiculous that I have to provide you with this example right now. It's ridiculous that we're even having this conversation right now. It is ridiculous that ONE-HUNDRED FIFTY-EIGHT YEARS after Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, we still need to defend our humanity to the majority. 

It is so hard to cultivate a love for ourselves as a people in the face of the media/world at large telling us we're doing it wrong every single day. Ads that feature anorexically-skinny-no-hips-no-ass-bitches or some blonde White woman whipping her hair back and forth in the shower are one level of social exclusion. On a good day I can step back and say hey, those people deserve being celebrated too even though these are the people we see portrayed positively all over the damn television/billboards/movies/world on a regular basis. But you are blatantly, no-holds-barred, balls-to-the-wall telling me that that which is inherent in my humanness and personhood is the opposite of a good look. Where the hell do you get off telling me that I'm not good enough? Nobody puts Baby in a corner my humanity on the line! What the fuck makes you think it's appropriate to portray my natural state of being as something to be stripped off like a mask and tossed away? 

What if we went around saying that eyes that weren't brown were uncivilized? Or hair that was naturally straight? Or skin lighter than a paper bag? No, that would be ridiculous, right? THEN CHECK YOURSELF.  Better yet, go get a lesson in civility and learn to give a damn about peoples who are unlike yourselves, rather than demeaning and de-humanizing them. "Projecting confidence and sophistication is simple" when you own your body and work with what was given to you naturally, when you don't let someone else's standards of beauty make you feel like something is wrong with you. Loving yourself, that's the epitome of confidence. Being deep enough to trust in your natural beauty, that's sophisticated. 

 

I haven't done fake hashtags in a while, but this deserves them:

#Getthefuckoutofmyfacewiththisshit

#Youshouldbeashamedofyourself

#Youarepartoftheproblem

#ThingsthatmakemewannaraisemyBlackPowerfistandpunchyouintheface