Tuesday, April 10, 2012

It's weird how our feelings manifest themselves physically

I'm pretty sure I'm actually incapable of releasing the tension in my upper back right now. I don't remember feeling pressure like this since college application/waiting for decision time. I have goals to meet every day and everything still seems like it'll be finished by my personal deadline of it being in the binder's hands by 6 pm on Thursday, but I feel like it's gon get worse before it gets better. I keep reminding myself to take deep breaths. I want to go meditate, but I don't know that I can spare the time. Every time I can convince myself that everything is going to be okay--which I know it is, actually. I've got this.--my body just responds that it's preparing itself for the worst. I don't remember pulling stress over my head this morning along with my shirt, and yet, there it sits. And I feel like feeling the stress like that is just stressing me out more, because without it I'm not sure I'd be so aware that everything I've been working for over the past four years basically comes down to the next 85 and a half hours. *gulp*

Also, occasionally when I'm not even thinking about him, a certain area begins to throb and I am reminded of what I hope to reward myself with when all of this is over. ^_^


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