Things I Love about the First Week of School:

Everyone still has TIME for each other. I think I had forgotten what it was like to have a whole group of girls gathered in a circle around my room eating snacks and having hours-long conversation about boys/relationships/love/sex, fears, being a woman, the future, ways we think we'd raise our hypothetical children, insert-anything-else-under-the-sun-here until damn near 4 o clock in the morning. This is bonding. This is how friendships are made and cemented. This is part of what I want to always remember about college. I used to have roommates (three of the four girls in my room tonight used to be my roommates), and this kind of thing happened often, but since we all moved into singles, my girl-talk has been mostly one-on-one or (don't call me a traitor) with guys. (Guys can girl-talk surprisingly well. Many of my closest male friends are incredibly insightful, oftentimes in very different ways than my closest female friends, and I value that more than they may realize.) I am so tempted to say that nights like these somehow ARE college. They're the quintessential experience I'm not sure it's possible to have under other circumstances. Even when you feel like the conversation keeps circling back to earlier points/roadblocks and going nowhere. Even when you feel like it's the entire room against one or two of you. Even when shots are fired at a member of your group and everyone else falls all over themselves laughing. Even when inside jokes/knowledge are exchanged between certain members of the group, leaving others out. I was in a philosophy class for 25 minutes once. I couldn't do it. I prefer my philosophy to be of the 4-am-exchanged-between-friends variety.

How do we ever lose time for this? Why do classes and homework and things with deadlines take precedence? When does this time for each other and stimulating conversation become a waste? It didn't always when we were roommates. What do these walls (read: buildings) between us do to us? How do we make it stop?

Maybe someday I won't be.

Reblogged from On the Bright Side

Calling this "Obligatory 9/11 Post" is too disrespectful

but I'm not really sure how else to go about it. As everyone in the entire country has said already, a decade ago today our country was changed forever. The generation(s) who had come to take America's freedom and security for granted were rudely awoken. The entire world felt somber and I remember being upset at my little brother and sister for coming home from school with smiles on their faces, blissfully unaware. My little sister told me once she doesn't remember it at all, which is unsurprising given that she was 7. But I was 11, and I will never forget walking into Mrs. Frank's 6th grade Advanced Math class, late as usual, my interest piqued to see the TV was on. Seeing the burning building, I thought we were watching a movie, and I will never forget how multiple people shushed me as I asked what we were watching, or how mere seconds later the second plane hit the second tower and I noticed the red "LIVE" on the top corner of the screen and despite not really knowing what was happening or where those buildings were or why it was important, I staggered backwards, hitting my back painfully on the handle of the cubby behind me. I will never forget what it was like to see grown-ups be afraid, or to watch as my classes dwindled to the single digits by the end of the day, as parents picked their kids up to take them home. There isn't a single day from all of my years of education that will ever be remembered in such detail as that day. 

And now it's ten years later, and I'm 21 and still at school, and we're still entrenched in the war--a war so far removed from my immediate life that it's reprehensibly easy to forget about, but a war nonetheless--that resulted from that day, and I am...at a bit of a loss. I remember that day. I will never forget that day. But does remembering that day mean that today should have been as somber, quiet, and full of negative feelings as that day a decade ago was? Should I feel BAD that I had a really good day today? At what point are we allowed to be aware of what today is the anniversary of without letting that cast a grey shadow of melancholy over the day? Maybe it's incredibly selfish to want to be able to enjoy my day despite the date making me cringe. I would light a candle, but they're not allowed in the dorms. Is there a way just living my life today can be regarded as anything but disrespectful? I'm thankful for all the lives that were given, or changed irrevocably, so that I could live it. But...I don't feel like I'm doing it right, or something.

The memorial is pretty cool.

I'm sure we all feel this way sometimes:

Reblogged from PostSecret

I won a BGLH giveaway!!!

*rolls out of bed*
*knows she should go get in the shower*
*decides to play around on the internets for a little while first*
*scrolls through Google Reader, seeing what's going on the way-too-many blogs she follows*
*legit does a double-take when she sees Maya Reid won this giveaway*
*thinks, 'That must be some other Maya Reid. It's not an uncommon name.'*
*hesitantly clicks on the link*
*squeals upon realizing she has actually won!* 

I'm getting a new deep conditioner! My morning is awesome! This is particularly awesome because I realized last night that I left my deep conditioner at home when I moved back to campus yesterday, and was just about to go buy some when K and I make a Walmart excursion later...but now I don't have to! Score!

Unintended chivalry

Things I knew already: I have awesome friends. Tonight, one of my awesome friends asked me into the middle of a circle of people to dance, and then unexpectedly picked me up and told me to wrap my legs around his waist. I obliged, and he twirled us around while I laughed louder than I've laughed in weeks and held on for dear life. I thought he knew that I was trying very hard to not be uncomfortable about something that has no business bothering me, and was trying (incredibly successfully) to distract me, but it turns out he was just being his wonderful self. And that's even better. And he put me in such a good mood that the other thing didn't even matter, and I don't think it will in the future either.

I know I didn't leave for that substantial a period of time, but everyone else did, and so...it feels good to be back. 

New (School) Year's Resolutions

Well, I'm all moved in and mostly unpacked, just got home from my first night of partying, and while I look wistfully at my bed wishing the stuff on it would put itself away so I can lay down, I guess it's time to talk about the ways I want this year to be different. It's my last shot, so I need to give these my best shot.

1. To not be so sucked up in my eating club that I don't spend time with my pre-Quad friends. 
2. To further my quest to really own myself in every possible way.
3. To have more fun, particularly of the this-will-be-a-great-story-about-my-crazy-college-days variety. Again, last shot.
4. To visit every eating club on The Street (don't worry if that sentence means nothing to you). 
5. To plan without being so caught up in my plans that I'll feel like the world is falling apart if my plans need to change.
6. To be as open in real life as I am on here.
7. My GPA is currently the highest it has ever been; I resolve not to let it drop below this point.
8. To keep my grown woman game on the up-and-up. 
9. I've never gone a whole semester without skipping a single class. Successfully doing that would make me feel like a "good student" or something.
10. That going to the gym thing died with a quickness last year. I should get back on that.
11. To take advantages of the resources Princeton has while I still have the chance. Especially Career Services everything and Mellon Mays everything so I'm not at a total loss for what to do between here and graduate school.
12. To be positive. Things are scary, yes. Things are gonna be hella difficult sometimes, yes. None of that is reason not to smile. It made me feel so great when the professor I worked with this summer told me I brighten her day; I want to always make people feel like that. 

I feel like '12 is a good number.

"To always be intending to live a new life, but never find time to set about it - this is as if a man should put off eating and drinking from one day to another till he be starved and destroyed." --Walter Scott

Things I Want: Yellow Pants

Reblogged from Pretty is something you're born with.

A revolutionary concept: "Power through candor."

I'm pretty sure that's what I aspire to practice every single day. I'm excited to share in Lidia-Anain's new project, SexLoveJoy, a platform dedicated to that concept, specifically through:

• Women candidly answering difficult questions about sexuality, gender, love, relationships and life.
• Women revealing their secret desires, fears, thoughts and struggles.
• Women celebrating sexuality, gender, love and relationships in ALL their forms.
• Women exposing common threads that unite us as women.
• Women promoting respect for the differences among us by building AND maintaining a SAFE venue for ALL women to tell their stories.
• Women being brave, candid and sharing our power with one another.

According to the website, "SexLoveJoy is a video web series and collection of essays in which brave women fearlessly share and talk about things most keep hidden away in their secret places."

That sounds like exactly my cup of tea. If you'd like to get involved, use my referral link!

http://sexlovejoy.com/yqy9f 

The way to do it:

Reblogged from The Write Curl Diary

Experience, man. It's life best teacher.

Reblogged from Peace Love and Pretty Things

I thought about this earlier this evening, as I was loading all of my stuff into my mom's sedan in preparation for my trip back to campus for Year 4/4. Freshman and sophomore years, this required some additional space in my grandma's car; I arguably had different stuff when I had a living room, but I think the mini fridge is harder to make space for than the lamp... Regardless, a mouse couldn't worm its way into my mom's trunk right now, and there is actually a little bit of space left in the backseat [that will soon be filled with the stuff I found in the closet during my last once-through of the house, but whatever]. I put what I thought was the last of the stuff in the car, stepped back to survey my handiwork, and wondered why this loading up the car thing used to be so damn difficult. And my brain answered, "Practice makes perfect. We've done this how many times?" So even tasks that seem monumental or impassable when you meet them for the first time, or even the first few times...some day you'll be able to just keep it moving. Life keeps on getting harder--*regrets not getting that when I was a kid*--but I think you get better at dealing with it as you live through more and more. 

You are enough.

"How would your life be different if you truly believed that you are already amazing and complete, just as you are?" -- Rosetta, of Happy Black Woman

This seems so appropriate at back-to-school time

Peekaboo

Reblogged from Clutch Magazine

Superman was an undocumented immigrant

And a great American hero! See the lack of oxymoron here?

Pro tip:

"If you can write when no one is listening and continue to do so for months,  you can be a blogger. If your voice is unique enough, the audience will come - it just takes a minute." --JC of THE NATURAL HAVEN

*crosses le fingers* 

"You never know how much shit you have until you have to move it."

That's what people always say, right? And as a person who moves a substantial percentage of her belongings approximately three times a year (oh college life), I thought I'd become quite familiar with how much shit I have. 

But when I was packing yesterday, I decided that I should go through the clothes sitting in my drawers/closet that I hadn't worn in a long time, and I found tops I legitimately hadn't thought about since freshman year, maxi dresses I probably won't ever wear again, shorts that don't fit, sweaters I hate, an old winter coat, tops that I need to stop pretending fit...to make a long story short, I filled two trash bags with clothing that can be sent to Goodwill/The Salvation Army. And I'm even having gotten rid of all of that, I'm still bringing a medium-sized suitcase, a small suitcase, two duffel bags, and a garment bag full of clothes with me to school. And on top of all of that, I have a separate (albeit much smaller) 'professional wardrobe' that is staying in a drawer in my dresser at home til interview season rolls around in the Spring.

And [though this should perhaps happen more often] I'm not sure I've ever felt so disgustingly privileged. There was a time in my youth where I thrifted not because thrifting was in, but because my family had to. When exactly did I go from being that girl to a girl who is giving away a sweater from Macy's? Macy's used to be "too rich for my blood." My mom still says that. She also won't own anything white because it'll get too dirty, and I just packed a pair of white pants (No white after Labor Day "rule," you don't OWN ME!) When did I become a person who had the means to revitalize her wardrobe a little bit each year? 

Now don't get me wrong, I love that I can do this. I love that my clothing can continue to reflect my personality as I grow and change and come into my own. But I suppose I'm just realizing right now that my life is full of extraordinary luxuries. Some day the necessities of my life will be less taken care of by the institution(s) in my life and I will have to spend my own money on things like food and keeping a roof over my head. I'm starting the food thing a little this year, even, in preparation. I just, in loving my freedom and ability to wear a different shirt every day for more than a month (probably more than two if I existed in some season-less space where t-shirts, tank tops, and sweaters could be interchanged at will), I also want to recognize how the current circumstances of my life have spoiled me. 

But the most important part about this spoiling, this privilege, is that it demands conscientiousness and responsibility. I just started decluttering my bedroom and will wind up helping somebody take care of some bodies. So the next time you're bored laying around or something, go through your closet/dresser/the mess under your bed and see what is no longer serving you. Let it serve someone else.     

Note to Self: Things to Remember about LinkedIn

It is not a dating site. Do not request an introduction with ulterior motives. Yes, you may stumble upon very attractive black male PhD candidates in Sociology with whom you share 5 connections and thus the site thinks you "might know", but that is not what this is for.

...Doesn't mean you can't look, though, and think to yourself, 'Damn, I wish I knew him.'

...And maybe when you're actually starting to seriously consider/make decisions about schools, you can request an introduction with actual questions to mask your ulterior motives, mwahaha! 

Surprises from men I know:

So it seems as though the decision I came to late Tuesday night has been negated, and this time it's NOT the result of my chronic inability to make up my mind about anything. He gchatted me this evening and asked if I had a minute, which usually means he wants to have a real conversation (as opposed to a hey-how-are-you-blah-small-talk conversation), and I had a feeling he wanted to talk about this even though he told me to not let him talk about it til the weekend (Thursday is basically the weekend, I guess). But the first thing out of his mouth once I confirmed that I did, indeed, have a minute, was that he wanted to veto the idea. And I was surprised because what man turns down the chance to get laid with no strings attached he seemed down when we were talking the other day, but seemingly before I could even process it, my fingers typed "that's fine". And while in my head I was thinking, 'Man it's gonna be hella awkward when he reads the post where I decided I wanted to,' I was actually the most disappointed by losing this opportunity to start the crazy college days I was supposed to be having for the past three years. I think what I realized as soon as he said that was that I'd come up with a lot of "there's not really any reason not to," and that didn't translate exactly into an I wanted to. I want this threesome that's not going to happen; I wasn't opposed to a consolation prize. And I'm ready for a lot of things, but settling for a delicate situation shouldn't ever be one of them. And I don't know why he vetoed it, and maybe I won't ever know, but while I certainly wouldn't call this a pleasant surprise...I certainly don't feel like I've lost anything either. 

And while I was gchatting with him, my best friend from home whom I've felt very distant from recently called me to ask if he could come over. Having basically accepted the fact that I wasn't going to see him again before I left for campus on Saturday morning, I was so surprised to be hearing from him that I stopped to ask if he was okay. He came over and warned me that he might be smelly from work, but I buried myself into him at the front door like I always do and he came in and sat at my kitchen table and teased my little brother while I made him Grape Kool-Aid (it's his favorite), and everything felt normal again. We talked about how school is scaring me a little this year, his new job, how he's scared he doesn't actually want to do anything with his degree, his family's ongoing move, how he wants to get his own place by December, things we'd done together in the past, things we wish we could do together in the near future, weird/interesting things we've watched recently...there were a few lulls, but he and I have had those since we were 13. My mom used to tease us because we'd sit on the phone "listening to one another breathe." Maybe I was expecting the worst when really he's just been busy and my visit home this time was really bad timing. Maybe we just say these things and that the time between now and the next time we'll see each other is too long to keep up the appearance that we still need each other. Maybe it doesn't matter, as long as we keep saying them.  

Confession: about half of the time I see an artsy nude pic (of a regular-looking person)nowadays, I really want to do a second shoot. 

Reblogged from 18° 15' N, 77° 30' W

 *wonders if she could pull this off by herself somehow*