tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.comments2014-11-15T00:26:56.361-05:00I'm Such an AFROholicMaya Ange'lehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13676853514071634711noreply@blogger.comBlogger168125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-42652929963140151462012-05-16T21:58:36.687-04:002012-05-16T21:58:36.687-04:00You do not take criticism well.You do not take criticism well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-677560438543396612012-05-15T16:53:07.701-04:002012-05-15T16:53:07.701-04:00Thank you for your comment. I appreciate people wh...Thank you for your comment. I appreciate people who take the time to respond when I put myself out there. But I think you're misinterpreting the point of my disclaimer.<br /><br />This isn't supposed to be interpreted as a response to criticisms I've received. There are always going to be critics; it's part and parcel of being a creative person, and I'm fine with that. This disclaimer is just to show where I'm coming from. The politics of respectability is something that I feel has plagued me from early childhood. To me, my mother's aversion to natural hair is the politics of respectability manifesting itself in my life. Every time anyone says something I've done/said isn't "ladylike," that's the politics of respectability at it again. This disclaimer was meant to more formally state my deep and total rejection of that politics, and above and beyond that, a deep and total commitment to the idea that my self--my whole, true, complete, unadulterated self--and my experiences and thoughts and feelings are all, in fact, quite respectable. I am not something I believe I should be ashamed of, something that should be relegated to less public media or kept amongst a few close friends. You said I'm too transparent; I see no valid reason to be opaque. <br /><br />Publishing that specific statement that the doctor I visited made actually spawned an interesting real-life conversation about what it is and is not appropriate for physicians to say, and another about gynecological visits pre- and post- having sex for the first time, so I don't see what's so "outta control" about it. On the contrary, getting people to talk about things that are usually hush-hush is a large part of my entire goal in maintaining the site. <br /><br />(Solid point about the Facebook link, though. It was just hidden from my parents, but now I've made it visible only to people who are my Facebook friends, with the exception of everyone who is related to me and some friends of the family. Good lookin out.)Maya Ange'lehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676853514071634711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-23091413159166227762012-05-14T00:54:10.522-04:002012-05-14T00:54:10.522-04:00I actually like your writing style and your journe...I actually like your writing style and your journey to happiness... but when you put up a disclaimer that says that people who criticize your blog are just participants in the "politics of respectability" you're really miscategorizing their concerns. You're not saying anything super shocking on here, gurl! You're just doing it in the wrong medium. And there's way too much transparency here. You're dismissing valid observations. Like writing something like "the penises that have been inside you are way bigger than my speculum" on a blog that's linked to your facebook is outta control. Meh.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-72066920988066722472012-04-18T18:39:54.529-04:002012-04-18T18:39:54.529-04:00I'm inspired. Will you please have a informal ...I'm inspired. Will you please have a informal dinner talk at cottage?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-43069142143208648212012-03-13T04:23:43.996-04:002012-03-13T04:23:43.996-04:00So I used to live in Baltimore City and my mother ...So I used to live in Baltimore City and my mother & stepfather at the time moved my sibs and me out of the city as soon as possible because they claimed, "Schools were better, it was safer, etc." When I got older though, my (now ex) stepfather told me, "You wanna know why we moved out here? We moved for your brother. You & Shai, ya'll are one thing but I want to give my son a chance." As if saying by being black and male he wouldn't have a chance to thrive in the city that produced the phenomenal men and women who helped make him the amazing person he is today. Every time I think about my future and any potential children I'll have, it worries me that as a black mother, I will have to fear the same for my child (be he "full-black", biracial or multiracial) because he will most likely look more black than anything else. <br /><br />Also, this is relevant slash gives me chills/saddens me whenever I see it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82VLGVn5P2Y<br /><br />When she says, "I'm just afraid to raise a black son" my heart achesLizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14309429849470908778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-89560700211407443252012-03-12T13:24:59.352-04:002012-03-12T13:24:59.352-04:00great, great post. everything you've said is s...great, great post. everything you've said is spot on. i can't help but wonder if zimmerman would have been charged if the child that was murdered was white. also, i know exactly what would have happened if zimmerman where black and martin were white.<br /><br />" Black men supposedly present more of a "threat" to White society with their very existence than do Black women"<br /><br />i tell ppl this all the time and some people act like i'm making things up. sometimes it does feel like a crime to be both male and black. guilty until proven innocent. <br /><br />i'm currently reading angela davis' "are prisons obsolete?" and i thought this quote is fitting:<br /><br />"Although government, corporations, and the dominant media try to represent racism as an unfortunate aberration of the past that has been relegated to the graveyard of U.S. history, it continues to profoundly influence contemporary structures, attitudes and behavior."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-65435000765543201492012-02-28T20:30:24.786-05:002012-02-28T20:30:24.786-05:00I love this and Tina FeyI love this and Tina FeyAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02814420545534328159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-7229302521211136282012-02-19T11:18:34.884-05:002012-02-19T11:18:34.884-05:00It has a stem.It has a stem.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-8485345245404938752012-02-17T01:26:33.251-05:002012-02-17T01:26:33.251-05:00eeee loveeee you <3eeee loveeee you <3Choosing Pancakeshttp://choosingpancakes.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-30312792437026503952012-02-13T23:35:39.508-05:002012-02-13T23:35:39.508-05:00you are great.you are great.Brandonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06026813176378126740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-85803381278717445192012-02-07T13:58:52.337-05:002012-02-07T13:58:52.337-05:00*like*
Hit me up on Twitter (@SuchanAfroholic) o...*like* <br /><br />Hit me up on Twitter (@SuchanAfroholic) or via the Whaddya Wanna Know page if you want to chat about it as you work through the book!Maya Ange'lehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676853514071634711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-91603028353731333062012-02-07T11:41:40.398-05:002012-02-07T11:41:40.398-05:00Omg. I def recently checked out this book in from ...Omg. I def recently checked out this book in from the library in order to get in touch with/ find/meet my sexual self. Obviously we're kindred spirits. Yayness!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-651673449446589062012-02-05T20:41:03.160-05:002012-02-05T20:41:03.160-05:00Found you on 20sb. Love that backyard!!!Found you on 20sb. Love that backyard!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-22197826739371077652012-01-31T21:40:51.217-05:002012-01-31T21:40:51.217-05:00literally one of my favorite posts on the internet...literally one of my favorite posts on the internet ever:<br /><br />http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/<br /><br />-- choosingpancakesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-45516163399152836002012-01-31T00:18:45.204-05:002012-01-31T00:18:45.204-05:001. I accept your first point completely and totall...1. I accept your first point completely and totally. "I don't mean to sound racist, but..." is always racist, and I'm assuming a total and complete comparability here. <br /><br />2. I agree with the initiator's-responsibility point too, and I like the way you phrased it. My specific example, however, involved situations in which neither party is capable of giving informed consent, and accordingly in which whom initiated what is not remembered by either party. This is inspired by the "Drunk Sex or Date Rape" thing they have in McCosh every year; I remember being horrified by it when I went as a sophomore, because I don't understand why his entire life was ruined because he had sex with a girl who didn't remember having given him consent because she was blacked out. Intellectually, I understand that a person who is blacked out isn't capable of giving consent, but in the situation, when person A doesn't know person B is blacked out, how does person A interpret person B's words/actions? What if the blacked out person is the initiator? <br /><br />3. I suppose that, because of the questions I just raised, I am not yet a believer in the idea that rape can't happen by accident. Well...actually, I suppose I don't like considering my hypothetical person A person B situation to be "rape," but sex that makes you feel bad/victimized afterwards is never okay, so I'm not challenging that. (Though I do feel REALLY. REALLY. bad for the guy from the Drunk Sex or Date Rape story.) Intentions don't count for shit, I know, but...to me, I guess, he's guilty of not knowing what blacked-out-ness looks like (which is difficult because it varies from person to person), but she is at least responsible for blacking out in the first place, is she not?<br /><br />^This is generally irrelevant, because despite what Drunk Sex or Date Rape made me feel, all but a tiny tiny (if extant at all) percentage of rape has a clear aggressor and is fully intentional on the aggressor's part and I agree with the articles you linked to that society needs a less no-driven understanding of what is not consent and that the miscommunication argument is a bunch of bulllllllshit.Maya Ange'lehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676853514071634711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-84625828608959406162012-01-30T23:57:29.838-05:002012-01-30T23:57:29.838-05:00alsoalso:
https://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/0...alsoalso: <br /><br />https://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/another-post-about-rape-3/<br />https://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/07/02/that-last-post/<br /><br />generally, this blog is awesome for topics on rape and abuse. like, srsly.<br /><br />-- choosingpancakesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-19070043907541664502012-01-30T23:52:56.421-05:002012-01-30T23:52:56.421-05:00I guess I just see it less as them saying "so...I guess I just see it less as them saying "some rape victims are guilty of something beyond just being unlucky enough to meet a rapist" and more of them saying that there are some things people can do to ensure that they're getting themselves into responsible sexual situations. <br /><br />Though this analogy isn't directly comparable, I think it's sort of like how my mom always tells me not to walk home with headphones in at night. I'm desensitizing myself to the outside world and making myself more vulnerable to some potential bad shit (of any variety) happening. And I think that, for the very small percentage of rape cases I'm specifically referring to, generally involving two persons who are both too drunk to give informed consent, there are things both parties can do to not increase their vulnerability. Again, obviously when force or contrived "misunderstanding" is involved, none of that stands.Maya Ange'lehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676853514071634711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-27941658607399580642012-01-30T23:22:39.783-05:002012-01-30T23:22:39.783-05:00yep, victim-blaming can be so insidious that any m...yep, victim-blaming can be so insidious that any mention of "i'm not victim-blaming, but ..." is liable to be dismissed by me.<br /><br />it's not that "the entire onus of responsibility for that situation falls onto the responsibility of the man (if we assume this is a heterosexual encounter)." it's that the onus of responsibility is on the initiator to constantly reassess consent, and the initiatory is often the man in heterosexual encounters (which itself is a product of rape culture which makes male sexuality active and predatory and female sexuality passive and the gatekeeper to sex).<br /><br />some links addressing what you're talking about:<br />https://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2010/03/24/talking-past-each-other/<br />https://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/mythcommunication-its-not-that-they-dont-understand-they-just-dont-like-the-answer/<br />https://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/meet-the-predators/<br /><br />-- choosingpancakesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-51889075411182942882012-01-30T20:05:40.791-05:002012-01-30T20:05:40.791-05:00OMG we need to talk about this!
-- choosingpancak...OMG we need to talk about this!<br /><br />-- choosingpancakesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-35601928330725693312012-01-30T18:57:09.827-05:002012-01-30T18:57:09.827-05:00I stopped reading that site long ago precisely bec...I stopped reading that site long ago precisely because of its antagonism towards feminism and...really all progressive thought, I think. What he's saying is just a more subtle form of victim blaming. It tries to extricate itself from it, but it still implies that at least some rape victims are guilty of something beyond just being unlucky enough to meet a rapist. I do appreciate the reminder of why I un-bookmarked them, though...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-55673653493754110692012-01-28T14:18:27.147-05:002012-01-28T14:18:27.147-05:00The link where it says "source" under my...The link where it says "source" under my quotes from the article links back to the original blog post! Thanks for checking my reaction out!Maya Ange'lehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676853514071634711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-75436515055250905062012-01-28T12:13:42.649-05:002012-01-28T12:13:42.649-05:00Do you have a copy of the orginal blog entry by th...Do you have a copy of the orginal blog entry by the Champ of Very Smart Brothas? I have read various reactions to the entry but I would like to read the original text? Thanks if you or anyony out there has a copy to repost.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-36601621956694972622012-01-21T19:19:07.291-05:002012-01-21T19:19:07.291-05:00There are some things I need to reconcile with Mal...There are some things I need to reconcile with Malcolm too, but on the subject of other Black folk that deserve recognition, check out Toure's article on why there should be a Malcolm X day: http://ideas.time.com/2012/01/20/we-need-a-malcolm-x-day/Maya Ange'lehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676853514071634711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-27662699150399884392012-01-21T15:55:01.417-05:002012-01-21T15:55:01.417-05:00Thanks for putting this out there Maya! Your post ...Thanks for putting this out there Maya! Your post made me think about how many other black folk I'm indebted to aside from King. What I don't like about MLK is the tokenism involved i.e. how his image is promoted for so many purposes and it's just the '55-'63 King being honored.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09709948843778971950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-684066909390571405.post-66485201615685684222012-01-12T21:12:11.659-05:002012-01-12T21:12:11.659-05:00i liked that insight: fb has taught us that "...i liked that insight: fb has taught us that "liking" something is an incredibly powerful social tool. never thought of it like that.<br /><br />people asking what my tattoos mean: it's a nuanced thing. the tattoo on my left side was supposed to be personal but not necessarily private. so when people who i trust ask respectfully, i decided after some consideration to share what it meant. but i think tattoos don't necessarily have to have super deep meaning, so sure, it can be frustrating when people ask and assume that. e.g. the stars tattoo on my wrist is an expression of bodily autonomy, a reminder that my body is mine to do with what i want. there's nothing else really to it. and i only came up with that explanation post hoc, after i spent some time thinking about why i got it, i.e. those weren't my thoughts at the time i chose to get it.S.http://choosingpancakes.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.com