And it's already playing out fabulously. This morning while I was deep conditioning my hair, it occurred to me that it has been almost a month since I graduated. I was thinking about what I've done in this first almost-month, and feeling pretty smug: I had witnessed the doctor tell my mother that she's now cancer-free, successfully grilled food at a huge BBQ in my little sister's honor, gone place-to-live hunting, been chosen as my new housemates' first choice, been approved for the lease all by myself with no cosigner, bargain shopped for new home essentials, hung out with a few friends from home, vegged out on my couch for days, moved, unpacked, grocery shopped, made dinners that wowed my housemates and turned into lunches that my coworkers were jealous of, been complimented on my outfit nearly every day by at least one person, had two guys ask for my number while I was walking home from work, and received commendations on my work at work from someone else with my job title and then, through my direct supervisor, from a senior survey researcher who is evidently quite hard to please. My boss said, and I quote, "If you can please [name redacted], you can please anyone at [my company]." I had transitioned fairly painlessly to the 7:30am to 12:30am lifestyle. I'd experimented with my hair to find cute styles for work. I'd cleaned my entire house from kitchen to bedroom. Was there anything I hadn't done?
And then I thought of all the people I hadn't talked to, and my sense of accomplishment dwindled a little. I was keeping in regular contact with KS (text and AIM) and EY (Skype and text). I'd talked to SO (gchat) and DG (facebook chat) a few times, JB (gchat) and JA (an actual phone call) once. But they're a tiny fragment of the people who are important to me from my life at Princeton. They're certainly not the only people to whom I meant it when I said that we'd keep in touch.
So how to fix this? I could be like RG and call people randomly, but, while I appreciate that, it can feel a little intrusive. (When did that happen? Phone calls used to be what I lived for. Oh, the days of middle and high schools.) Okay, so not random phone calls. Or, yes random phone calls, but only to people with whom I'm close enough that intrusion is welcome.
Then I thought about all the people I saw on gchat/Facebook chat/Skype every day and didn't click on their names to have a conversation with them. It's like there's some line I established somewhere between people I'm allowed to just talk about anything/nothing/whatever with, to shoot the proverbial shit with, and some people I have to have something to say to in order to message. As no sooner had that thought completed itself than I realized the degree to which it is utter and complete bullshit. And it's the exact brand of bullshit that causes people to never ever keep in touch.
I have a simple message for the world. Though I don't like it as an initial message on dating sites, between friends or close acquaintances who haven't talked in a while, "Hey! What's up?!" is something to say. "How'd moving to [insert city here] go?" is something to say. "How's your new job?" is something to say. "How are you entertaining yourself before grad school?" is something to say. Yes catch-up conversations can feel a little interview-y, but would you rather feel like you're asking too many questions or have to have a two hour conversation next year at reunions because you haven't spoken at all? In reality, you're not going to want to waste two hours of partying, which means you could never have that two hour conversation (which will need to become longer and longer as more time passes).
So, new rule: If I see someone that I call a friend (rather than someone I call "this girl/guy I know") pop up on gchat or Facebook chat and I haven't communicated with this friend in some form in the last two weeks, I must message them just to say hey. To see what's up. To shoot the shit. I'm going to say hi because there's no reason not to, and every reason to. The best way to stay in touch...is to stay in touch. You don't have to play catch-up if you never leave "the know". So I want to stay there with as many people as I can.
Since this afternoon, I've had conversations with four people that I care about, but might not have talked to for months or longer if I thought I needed something specific to say to them. I feel so plugged in to the world right now. I didn't realize how much I felt like I was living on an island away from everyone I know. But just like that, in ten minutes of catching up, I remember all the bridges we've mad and feel so connected. The simple joys of just saying hey.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
True life: I had a man get down on his knees yesterday to beg me for my number.
Yes, I caved and gave it to him. He was on his knees. No, I haven't decided whether I'll pick up if/when he calls. Entertainment potential seems high, but he also seems excessively clingy...
Is it just me, or is this being an adult thing easier than expected?
Granted, I've been at it for a grand total of four days now, so everything I have to say should be taken with a grain of salt, but hear me out. So buying everything for my move? Between thrift stores, Ross, and Marshall's, #MayatheBargainHunter had no problems. My mother, grandmother, and uncle graciously helped me with the actual moving, and in four years of dorm rooms, I've become a pro at unpacking and decorating in a day or so. My mom and grandma also took me on an initial grocery run and trip to Target to buy, among other things, an ironing board, because that would have been awkward to take on the metro. But then on Saturday afternoon around 4:30, they got on the road and here I was, alone in my new house in DC, establishing myself as an independent young woman and shit.
...And everything was fine. I cleaned the kitchen and then went upstairs to continue unpacking. I found out that my housemate wasn't coming home that night and didn't freak out about it (much). I went to sleep at a reasonable bedtime. The next day, I woke up at 7:48 and went on a three-and-a-half hour cleaning spree. It involved stainless steel cleaner, window cleaner, Fantastic all-purpose cleaner, scrubbing floors with Swiffer Wet Mop pads because the Swiffer part was nowhere to be found, Lysol bathroom cleaner, Mr. Clean Toilet Bowl Cleaner, a broom and a dustpan, and nearly an entire roll of paper towels. My landlord came over later that day and the first words out of his mouth were, "Whoa! Extreme home makeover! You're a welcome addition to the house already." I made pasta and meat sauce that night for dinner, with enough leftover to take for lunch on my first day of work. I picked out my outfit for my first day and went to sleep at a reasonable hour.
The next day I got up at 7:30, showered, ironed my clothes, professionalized my hair, made breakfast, packed my lunch, and walked to work. I did not get lost. I did say hello to people as I walked down the street. A nontrivial percentage of them ignored me or looked at me as if I should be institutionalized. I did not worry about it. I got to work exactly at 9:00, met my supervisor, and had a generally amazing first day. I think I'm going to thoroughly and completely love my job. AND I think I'll be good at it. And that's a great thing to be able to say about a well-paying good-benefit-giving right-out-of-college job. Hell, it's a great thing to be able to say about any job at any point in one's life.
Today was my second day of work and I've already been heavily praised for my performance. I've started doing some actual work instead of just orientation-y things, and I still really like it. I didn't realize how much I was deeply craving a way to apply sociology to actually helping people and influencing things until I joined this company where we do that every. single. day. And today I may only have been helping in the smallest of ways (calling Quality Directors at hospitals for this project we've been contracted to that's aimed at reducing inpatient harm and hospital readmissions), but I saw direct results and was just like, FUCK YEAH I LOVE WHAT I DO. And I came home and made a burger for dinner and then realized I didn't have any ketchup, so I went to the store and got some.
Then I came upstairs and was like, oh, the 4th of July is next week. This is another one of those holidays that stores like to commercialize on to have entirely unrelated sales on big things like mattresses and TVs. I should check Sleepys to see if my bed is on sale. Not only is it on sale, but there's free shipping on online purchases over $599.99 during some 36 hour window that right now is part of. I searched online for a coupon code that saved me ten percent, bringing my order total to $601.97 for a full sized headboard, footboard, mattress, boxspring, and bed frame. #winning
tl;dr version: Goodbye strugglebus, hello awesome adult life.
...And everything was fine. I cleaned the kitchen and then went upstairs to continue unpacking. I found out that my housemate wasn't coming home that night and didn't freak out about it (much). I went to sleep at a reasonable bedtime. The next day, I woke up at 7:48 and went on a three-and-a-half hour cleaning spree. It involved stainless steel cleaner, window cleaner, Fantastic all-purpose cleaner, scrubbing floors with Swiffer Wet Mop pads because the Swiffer part was nowhere to be found, Lysol bathroom cleaner, Mr. Clean Toilet Bowl Cleaner, a broom and a dustpan, and nearly an entire roll of paper towels. My landlord came over later that day and the first words out of his mouth were, "Whoa! Extreme home makeover! You're a welcome addition to the house already." I made pasta and meat sauce that night for dinner, with enough leftover to take for lunch on my first day of work. I picked out my outfit for my first day and went to sleep at a reasonable hour.
The next day I got up at 7:30, showered, ironed my clothes, professionalized my hair, made breakfast, packed my lunch, and walked to work. I did not get lost. I did say hello to people as I walked down the street. A nontrivial percentage of them ignored me or looked at me as if I should be institutionalized. I did not worry about it. I got to work exactly at 9:00, met my supervisor, and had a generally amazing first day. I think I'm going to thoroughly and completely love my job. AND I think I'll be good at it. And that's a great thing to be able to say about a well-paying good-benefit-giving right-out-of-college job. Hell, it's a great thing to be able to say about any job at any point in one's life.
Today was my second day of work and I've already been heavily praised for my performance. I've started doing some actual work instead of just orientation-y things, and I still really like it. I didn't realize how much I was deeply craving a way to apply sociology to actually helping people and influencing things until I joined this company where we do that every. single. day. And today I may only have been helping in the smallest of ways (calling Quality Directors at hospitals for this project we've been contracted to that's aimed at reducing inpatient harm and hospital readmissions), but I saw direct results and was just like, FUCK YEAH I LOVE WHAT I DO. And I came home and made a burger for dinner and then realized I didn't have any ketchup, so I went to the store and got some.
Then I came upstairs and was like, oh, the 4th of July is next week. This is another one of those holidays that stores like to commercialize on to have entirely unrelated sales on big things like mattresses and TVs. I should check Sleepys to see if my bed is on sale. Not only is it on sale, but there's free shipping on online purchases over $599.99 during some 36 hour window that right now is part of. I searched online for a coupon code that saved me ten percent, bringing my order total to $601.97 for a full sized headboard, footboard, mattress, boxspring, and bed frame. #winning
tl;dr version: Goodbye strugglebus, hello awesome adult life.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
“As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep…feel it all – look around you- all of this is for you. Take it and have gratitude. Give it and feel love.”
--Amelia Olson
(via On the Bright Side)
Friday, June 22, 2012
“Society has a problem with female nudity when it is not… ” —Badu pauses to get her words together; she wants this point to be very clear— “…when it is not packaged for the consumption of male entertainment. Then it becomes confusing.”
--Erykah Badu: June/July Cover Issue|Pg 1|VIBE Magazine
(via Indie Art Nerd)
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Pushing the reset button.
We're fast approaching the last 36 hours or so before I load up the car and truck and make the trek down to DC. I'm moving out of my mother's house. Like, for real this time, not like going away to college I'll-se-you-when-I'm-on-break-in-six-weeks leaving, but rather I-just-signed-a-13-month-lease here's-my-new-address moving out.
And it's funny because when I was fake-moving-out to go to Princeton, I did a crazy overall life reset. I had come to terms with the fact that I didn't really want to keep being the person I was, and actively underwent a major overhaul trying to redress and redefine myself. My entire mindset was new place, new friends, new me. And even though I didn't stick with the self I'd created for Princeton for very long, rather opting to develop into the person Princeton made me, I definitely learned the value of taking a moment out for self-reflection immediately before a major life change, and the opportunity to personal development new places, faces, experiences, and challenges offer us.
Four years ago, when I was getting ready to move, I was so excited for everything to change. I wanted to become everything I didn't think my hometown could make or let me be. The entirety of my immediate future was one big Wonderball of opportunity that I couldn't wait to take advantage of.
And now I'm tempted to say that I'm moving, but I don't want anything to change. That's hyperbole, but I feel so much closer to the other end of the spectrum. It's like, I'm moving and everything is changing and there's not much I can do about it. But...come to think of it, that's not really the truth either.
I am absolutely not looking for a personality overhaul like I was last time. I'm not looking to redefine myself. I happen to think I'm pretty damn fabulous. In all honesty, I adore the person these past four years have made me, and I'm not finna let her go. I want to maintain her, and I plan to do this by maintaining the types of activities and relationships that made her, both specifically and generally. I can't say that I'm going to stay in such regular communication with (all of) my friends from college that catch-up sessions won't be necessary, but I demand that such sessions be many and frequent. I'm going to keep blogging and keep following all the blogs I follow. I've joined a bunch of meetup groups and am searching for like-minded folks with whom to have discussions of the Large Library (read: late night college) variety. I'm going to read again.
But there have to be things about the college lifestyle that I don't particularly want to hold onto in this new chapter of my life. Let us count the things:
And it's funny because when I was fake-moving-out to go to Princeton, I did a crazy overall life reset. I had come to terms with the fact that I didn't really want to keep being the person I was, and actively underwent a major overhaul trying to redress and redefine myself. My entire mindset was new place, new friends, new me. And even though I didn't stick with the self I'd created for Princeton for very long, rather opting to develop into the person Princeton made me, I definitely learned the value of taking a moment out for self-reflection immediately before a major life change, and the opportunity to personal development new places, faces, experiences, and challenges offer us.
Four years ago, when I was getting ready to move, I was so excited for everything to change. I wanted to become everything I didn't think my hometown could make or let me be. The entirety of my immediate future was one big Wonderball of opportunity that I couldn't wait to take advantage of.
And now I'm tempted to say that I'm moving, but I don't want anything to change. That's hyperbole, but I feel so much closer to the other end of the spectrum. It's like, I'm moving and everything is changing and there's not much I can do about it. But...come to think of it, that's not really the truth either.
I am absolutely not looking for a personality overhaul like I was last time. I'm not looking to redefine myself. I happen to think I'm pretty damn fabulous. In all honesty, I adore the person these past four years have made me, and I'm not finna let her go. I want to maintain her, and I plan to do this by maintaining the types of activities and relationships that made her, both specifically and generally. I can't say that I'm going to stay in such regular communication with (all of) my friends from college that catch-up sessions won't be necessary, but I demand that such sessions be many and frequent. I'm going to keep blogging and keep following all the blogs I follow. I've joined a bunch of meetup groups and am searching for like-minded folks with whom to have discussions of the Large Library (read: late night college) variety. I'm going to read again.
But there have to be things about the college lifestyle that I don't particularly want to hold onto in this new chapter of my life. Let us count the things:
- I don't want to only actively maintain those friendships which are logistically convenient. In fact, I refuse to.
- I don't want to be tired all the time. There is no reason to be consistently running on empty anymore. When I hit that first wave of tired at night, I should go to sleep. There's no reason to pretend I'm not tired. End of story.
- I refuse to be off balance. No part of my life deserves to be dominating everything else.
- I want to read for pleasure. I want to do absolutely nothing sometimes without feeling bad about it. I want to watch TV. I want to take back my free time.
- I want to eat better. And drink more water. I did that well last summer, by simply not buying drinks so that I drank a lot of water.
- I want to exercise regularly. I've already decided that I'm going to walk to/from work, because it's less than a mile each way, but there's a gym in my office building and I want to start using it. Maybe after work two or three days a week?
- I want the majority of my free time at least one day a week to not be spent in front of my computer. I want to go out into the world and DO things. And I want to not be scared to do them by myself. I got over that in Chi-town and I want to do it again.
- And I need to at least seriously think about drinking, partying, hooking up, and how my rules about these things need to adapt to life in the real world. Not sure exactly how they should change yet--I might need to experience real world partying before I can make plans/rules for how to navigate it.
Style Crushes
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| The matching! Reblogged from Currently Obsessed With... |
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| Reblogged from Instant Vintage |
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Went to Applebees with RB (who I've mentioned recently) last night
And it was simultaneously great and really weird. It's like, she used to be one of my closest friends in the entire world. Like, spend all day together at school and after school (because we were in all the same clubs, usually as President and Vice President), then spend hours on the phone together when we got home best friends. Like we talked extensively about whether she should go on her first date with the guy she's now been dating for over six years best friends. Like knew all the sordid details of each other's complicated familial lives best friends.
And then we went away to college less than half an hour from one another and became people who saw each other maybe once during the school year and a few times in the summer, and we almost never talked in between seeing each other. When we hang out, we instantly click again and the conversation flows naturally and I feel all warm and snuggly inside, but those hang-out sessions are few and far between.
It's...strange when every time you hang out with a person that was once one of your closest friends, you're having a catch up session. Having catch-up sessions forces you to confront the idea that you've become "old friends" rather than "friends," that you do not, in fact, know what is up in one another's lives anymore. How do you get to that point with people? How does that happen? Now you're all grown up and different and facing all kinds of new issues than the kind you used to tackle together. You used to say "See ya tomorrow" nonchalantly, and now it's long hugs because you don't know where you'll see each other again.
Saying goodbye to your friends at the end of high school is one thing. You'll see each other again on breaks and in summers; you'll always be home for something. You live there. Saying goodbye to your college friends is another thing, especially at a place like Princeton. Our alumni tend to cluster in major cities (the two most major of which are within weekend-trip distance) and our Reunions are the biggest parties known to the hemisphere. I will see these people again.
Saying goodbye to your friends from home when you're moving away from home is a completely different thing. It's saying I'm never going to be home for this long ever again. It's saying, "If you're ever in DC...". It's making far-fetched plans to travel to Spain together at some point. It's saying, "I miss this," knowing we just have to keep on missing it. It's not saying, but knowing, that we could very well never see each other again. But like the other big goodbyes, it hopes against its own finality.
And then we went away to college less than half an hour from one another and became people who saw each other maybe once during the school year and a few times in the summer, and we almost never talked in between seeing each other. When we hang out, we instantly click again and the conversation flows naturally and I feel all warm and snuggly inside, but those hang-out sessions are few and far between.
It's...strange when every time you hang out with a person that was once one of your closest friends, you're having a catch up session. Having catch-up sessions forces you to confront the idea that you've become "old friends" rather than "friends," that you do not, in fact, know what is up in one another's lives anymore. How do you get to that point with people? How does that happen? Now you're all grown up and different and facing all kinds of new issues than the kind you used to tackle together. You used to say "See ya tomorrow" nonchalantly, and now it's long hugs because you don't know where you'll see each other again.
Saying goodbye to your friends at the end of high school is one thing. You'll see each other again on breaks and in summers; you'll always be home for something. You live there. Saying goodbye to your college friends is another thing, especially at a place like Princeton. Our alumni tend to cluster in major cities (the two most major of which are within weekend-trip distance) and our Reunions are the biggest parties known to the hemisphere. I will see these people again.
Saying goodbye to your friends from home when you're moving away from home is a completely different thing. It's saying I'm never going to be home for this long ever again. It's saying, "If you're ever in DC...". It's making far-fetched plans to travel to Spain together at some point. It's saying, "I miss this," knowing we just have to keep on missing it. It's not saying, but knowing, that we could very well never see each other again. But like the other big goodbyes, it hopes against its own finality.
Neglected to post this when I first discovered it
But it's still awesome:
I went to Princeton, bitch!
I went to Princeton, bitch!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
My music is a rainbow.
It occupies nearly every section of the spectrum, albeit with heavy influence on certain realms.
What color is your music?
What color is your music?
JCPenney is my favorite department store.
Firmly securing their place at the top of the list (above the cute clothes at great prices):
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| The tag reads: What makes dad so cool? He's the swim coach, lunch maker, best friend, toilet-fixer and hug-giver--all rolled into one. Or two.
Of course, they're getting all kinds of backlash from their conservative "traditional consumer base" and some conservative columnists have been blaming the company's loss in stock value etc. this year on their acceptance and celebration of ALL kinds of families. But even though those criticisms were raised after their Mother's Day ad with two moms, they published this, and that shows that they're the kind of company I love--the kind with values based on, you know, human decency and acceptance, rather than trying to get the most money possible.
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“Be brave enough to live creatively. The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You can’t get there by bus, only by hard work, risking, and by not quite knowing what you’re doing. What you’ll discover will be wonderful: yourself.”
-Alan Alda
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