Thursday, November 1, 2012

On "virginity".

"I think the concept of virginity was created by men who thought their penises were so important it changes who a woman is."

(via come correct

My first reaction to this quote was like BAM! *clap clap* Cheers, all around. 

But then, even though I'd been personally sexually active for a decade before I actually did anything sexual with another human being, and had already worn out the motor in my first vibrator before I had a real live dick in me, I remember feeling kind of wholly changed after I had sex for the first time. We did it for the first time in the morning, on a Sunday, and after we snuggled, he got up to go to church, and I called my girls in quick succession to tell them I'd finally done it. And it wasn't nearly as big a deal as I thought it would be. And oh my dear lord, I wanted to do it again ASAP. And because it wasn't a big deal at all, I went on to have sex with a good friend, a stranger, and then another friend, and become the proactively sex-positive person you see before you today. 

Let's unpack that for a second. My ex and I "losing our virginities" to each other taught me that sex is not, in fact, a huge THING, fundamentally changing my attitude about a lot of things in life and generally causing me to be a lot more fulfilled in certain areas because I realized this was just one more way in which our patriarchal Puritan society had lied to me and kept me from fully enjoying my womanly human self.

So, in other words, in re this statement, BAM! *clap clap* Cheers, all around. 

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