#thestruggleneverends

It only changes form. 

Sometimes my feelings can only accurately be expressed through meme generators.

There are 64 email threads under my "DC Housing" label in my Gmail account, and I send more email inquiries legitimately every day. And yet, I do not yet have a place to call home outside of the state of New Jersey. I took a trip to DC earlier this week to meet people and view places I had had positive email interactions with, hoping to come, see, and conquer the DC housing market in two days. The third of the five places I saw, I fell in love with nearly at first sight. It was all I could do not to gasp as I was given a tour of the apartment, and I could see myself becoming fast friends with the roommate. She was a Black girl with loose curly hair and awesome earrings who is a PoliSci major at Howard. COME ON NOW. Maybe I was overeager and scared her off. Maybe a friend of hers or the girl who is moving out got the room. I don't know. All I know is I had already started envisioning myself in that space and was feeling quite comfortable there when I got the email saying they'd decided to go with someone else. That email was quickly followed by one from a place I wasn't interested in, saying the same thing. My second choice place had had two rooms available, but the one that was in my price range and with my more favorable move-in date was accounted for already. It was like my whole trip had been for naught.

So I had a mini-breakdown and then reopened padmapper and craigslist and kept looking. I'm now waiting to hear back from two people in a lovely house who sound really nice about a room that's available July 1, and then will have to work out where to stay for my first week of work. I see a fairly expensive sublet for two weeks from June 15-30, or I could try to see if I could stay at a friend's parents' house or with one of my older sister's friends, or if my mom wouldn't absolutely freak out at the idea of me doing Airbnb for a week. There's a room available with this black girl in Arlington for $40/night that could be fabulous and maybe we could even be friends.

During the writing of this post, I was contacted to say that the other roommate in the July 1 place wants someone older. The search continues. My parents are both using the "everything happens for a reason" route to suggest that something better will come along. I have no choice but to believe them (or carry out a half-assed plan to just sleep in my private office and shower in the gym in my building). Someone will want to live with me. I'm a cool person, I promise! Lots of people like me. I make really good pancakes. I'd want to hang out with my roommates sometimes, do brunch or drinks or throw a party or something. I'm social but not cray. I'm a little older at heart than 22. Always have been. Someone will want to live with me. 

I just hope it happens in the next six days, or I'll have to call work and admit defeat on my first deadline before I even start...